Mark Tyler Kreft is a 20-year-old Louisville graphic designer whose friends call him Ty or Young Tyson. Ty claims to be a “frickin’ kick ass dude,” but he also doesn’t want you to think he’s a “potty mouth.”

Although he was born in 1980, he does have a favorite Atari game, Fast Food, which he likes because the evil element of the game is the eggplants. In Fast Food, the background is dark and you are a mouth. You can move up and down and the object is to eat all the fast food items – french fries, Cokes, nuggets, candy – avoiding only the purple eggplants.

His favorite TV shows are Nickelodeon’s “The Adventures of Pete and Pete” and VH1’s “Oasis: Behind the Music.” He was interviewed in 2000 by Scott Ritcher.

Have you ever done anything extreme enough to be included in a Mountain Dew or Surge commercial?

I’ve jumped of off a seventy-five foot cliff. I’m not sure if I could top that. That’s pretty extreme, eh? There’s a place in Bloomington, Indiana, some rock quarries that are out of use and filled with water, where you can go and jump off a seventy-five foot cliff. As cheesy and stupid as it may sound, it’s by far the most exhilarating thing I’ve ever done. I’m addicted to it.

Great. How smart are you on a scale of 1 to 10?


Where did you go to grade school and high school?

I attended grade school at Sacred Heart Model School and high school at Trinity High School. Yeah, I’m a real nice, respectable Catholic boy just like you, Scott. [laughter]

Did you play any sports?

I played soccer up until I was a freshman in high school. I even made the junior varsity team at Trinity. I quit to be punk rock.

[laughter] How many pairs of shoes do you have?

I have four pairs of shoes. Two too many. I made the mistake of purchasing a pair on the Internet. They came out too bright. They were like a fluorescent blue. It hurts to wear them they’re so bright.

Nothing wrong with ice cream, right?

Um, yeah, whatever you say.

What do you do in your spare time?

I ride my bike with no brakes. I swim. I take photographs. I just generally make sweet party. I never do anything I don’t want to, which is the rule I live by. Propa! [laughter]

What are your favorite things to eat and how do they differ from the things you eat most often?

Well, I don’t really eat things that I don’t like. My favorite thing to eat is pad thai, no egg, from Thai Express in Cincinnati, or maybe pizza with mushrooms and no cheese from Adriatico’s in Cincinnati. Cincinnati has better food than Louisville.

20110729-123252.jpgIn the movie of your life, who should play you?

In my childhood years I would be played by the guy who played Dirk Calloway in “Rushmore.” For the rest of the movie I would be played by Ice Cube. [laughter]

In the book of your life, who should be the author?

Snoop Dogg’s ghost writer, Davin Seay, I’m reading Snoop Dogg’s autobiography, by Davin Seay, right now, and I have to say, it’s pretty good. I think Davin Seay would do a great job with my life.

Would you ever go skydiving?


How old will you live to be?

Not that old, I hope.

What should be the inscription on your gravestone?

“Mark Tyler Kreft. 5/1/00 – 6/23/01. He probably didn’t like you.”

What do you think about the death penalty?

I think some crimes are so heinous that the perpetrator deserves to lose their life.

What are your favorite fake curse words that people say when they can’t say the real ones?

I really enjoy when people substitute “freaking” for the word “fucking.” I have fond memories of making this switch when I was younger, and I felt the need to curse in front of my mother. It was always a funny situation, because my mom would freak out and scream at me, because she knew that “freaking” was just another way of saying “fucking.” I’m happy to say that I’ve finally come to the point in my relationship with my mother where I can say whatever I want in front of her. I can say fuck, shit, ass, booby… [laughter] Anything. Also, “freaking” is phonetically pleasing. It just sounds fucking right sometimes.

Is there any question I didn’t ask that you thought I might?

I thought for sure that you would ask me about my peg leg. [laughter]

Companion interview in K Composite 10, Pages 252-253