Hilary Noltemeyer first appeared in K Composite in 1996 as Hilary Newton. That was in the sixth issue. In subsequent issues, she has appeared in this segment. This ongoing interview creates a picture of Hilary’s ideas, views and life over a period of many years.
from K Composite 11 (2001)
Seriously, having a baby – what is that like?
It is really hard. The actual “having” her was the easy part, it’s the daily job of it that gets difficult. I have always wanted to be a mom. It is everything I thought it would be and more.
It’s exhausting but exhilarating, hectic but manageable, and most of all it is tremendously rewarding. When she smiles at me or looks to me for something she needs, it melts my heart time and time again. Sorry to be so emotional, but the whole experience really is unbelievable.
Is it weird to get out of the hospital bed weighing 10 pounds less than when you laid down?
Yes, but it was about time! I gained so much weight [60 pounds] while I was pregnant, I couldn’t wait to lose it. I lost about 40 pounds in three weeks. Talk about weird, one day I couldn’t wear a pair of pants, and the next day, they fit! I felt like a science experiment. I tell you what, I have a whole new respect for my body after experiencing pregnancy and childbirth.
Who is your favorite artist or painter?
It changes all the time. I don’t really like one artist in particular, but like Van Gogh, Botticelli, plus some more “modern” stuff. My absolute favorite artist is Amy Real Coultas. She does amazing things with wire and thread – her stuff is amazing!
List five DOs and DON’Ts of being Hilary Noltemeyer
1. Love God and let Him love you.
2. Embrace things you are afraid of.
3. Be yourself, and DON”T apologize for it.
4. Give of yourself, it keeps you balanced and centered on the right things.
5. Laugh as much as you can . . . life is too much fun to not enjoy every minute of it.
1. Say “I’ll never” because you probably will.
2. Act like you are better than other people, because you aren’t.
3. Spend too much money all the time like I do.
4. Live to regret, instead live to enjoy.
5. Waste time doing stuff you hate.
Update me on your favorite movie if it has changed.
I still like Emma the best, I think.
Do you think it’s funny in old movies when they’re driving a car and the background is obviously fake?
I guess so. I guess it depends what mood I’m in and who I’m watching the movie with. I’m sure if we were watching a movie like that together, you would probably think it was funny, and I in turn might tend to find it a little more humorous than say, if I were
Do you wish men wore suits and hats more often today like they did in old movies?
Have you ever dreamed of being a private investigator?
Heck yeah! To be able to get the dirt on anyone you wanted at any time. Plus, being able to be all stealth and incognito all the time. That would be really fun.
Have you been reading anything lately?
I have been reading my way through the Harry Potter books, and let me tell you, I absolutely love them! I’m on the fourth one now. I have also been reading exciting titles such as “What to Expect the First Year” and “The Nursing
What is Willow going to be when she grows up?
Whatever she wants to be. My vision for her is that she is happy, that she is doing something that fills her with joy and fulfillment. I do hope that she will one day be a mother.
Have you ever gotten a traffic ticket?
Are you kidding? I have had three tickets in my 10 years of driving. Two of them came about a year or so ago in the exact same spot about three weeks apart. The really kicker is that they were both on our street! Pretty embarrassing huh? Plus since they were so close together I had to pay for one AND go to traffic school.
Are you afraid of heights?
No, but my mom is.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how useful is the internet now as compared with its potential?
What do you think about people who are left handed?
I think they are fine. Alison is left handed and so is my Aunt Karen. They SEEM perfectly normal . . .
What percentage of your life is sleeping?
Before baby, 30%. After baby, 15-20%.
What have you been up to lately?
Not much. What have you been up to? Really though, I have to say that my life is so busy with Willow, yet it seems like I never get anything done. I could be in my house all day and not get anything accomplished. Willow can’t even talk or read or anything yet, but we read books and play and talk all day long. So in answer to “What have I been up to?” the answer is pretty much nothing and everything, bout mostly that I am getting used to being a mom.
from K Composite 9 (2000)
I was remembering one time a few years ago when you were going to go on a trip, and you didn’t want to go, or you didn’t end up going because your mother or somebody had a bad feeling about the airplane… Refresh my memory about that.
Oh, I hate to fly. I was supposed to visit my friend Alison in New York City she was there for the summer – and I woke up in the morning and I had a really bad feeling about getting on the plane. And so did my mom. So I cancelled the trip. [laughter]
Did the plane make it?
The plane made it. But if I was there, it might not have. [laughter]
How crazy are you on a scale of 1 to 10? One being Hugh Downs and Ten being Evel Kneivel.
[laughs] I guess about a 7 or 8. I guess it depends on what day you catch me on.
So you’re pretty nuts.
Has your dad ever cooked, and if so, what is your favorite thing he makes?
My dad always cooks. My mom never cooks. He makes good pasta.
Do you know any bad words in other languages?
No! [both offended and amused at the question] I don’t curse. [laughter]
Companion interview in K Composite 9, pages 203-206
Gwyneth Paltrow, for sure. [laughter]
And who would play Kyle [Hilary’s husband]?
Kyle… [five seconds] I don’t know. Maybe…
John Goodman, maybe?
No, not John Goodman. [laughter] Kyle is tall and skinny.
How much money do you have on your person right now?
I didn’t count, but I put 75¢ in the meter, so I probably have about three dollars right now.
Explain a what a horse is, as if to someone who has never seen the animal.
[laughter] Hmm. That’s a bad question to ask me because I’m allergic to horses, and I don’t get too close. They have four legs, and they’re very strong animals. They have lots of muscles. They’re really fast and have big, long faces. I don’t really like them.
Do you have Caller ID?
Do you like it?
Yes. I love it. [laughter]
What is the longest you’ve gone without changing your clothes and what were the circumstances?
When I was in Europe when I was in college. I went for three days without changing clothes because we couldn’t find a place to sleep and we ended up spending the night in this huge circus tent! [laughter] …where we bought a ticket to lay on a mat [laughter] in this huge circus tent with all these people we didn’t know. And I didn’t get to take a shower, which was not okay for me. It was about three days before I got to shower and change clothes.
Did you enjoy circus life?
No, not particularly. It was really cold. [laughs]
from K Composite 8 (2000)
What do you have to say about Evel Kneivel?
I wonder about his sanity. But I guess that he knows that he’s going to clear all those cars or he wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t pay to see him perform or anything.
How similar is your life now to the way you dreamed for it to be when you were a little girl?
I love my life. When I was a little girl, I never dreamed about being anything specific, except being a mom. Of course, I’m not a mom and probably won’t be for quite some time, but maybe that’s why I am drawn to teaching and coaching. I love working with young adults they are so full of life and talent that is just sitting there waiting to be sown. I love to share my love of reading and literature, blah, blah, blah. I sound like such a geek.
How long does it take you to fall asleep?
Anywhere from 10 to 60 minutes. It takes me a while to settle down and clear my head from all that has happened that day.
Have you ever written a letter to a newspaper or magazine?
I wrote a letter to Rolling Stone once about a certain producer of said K Composite Magazine. I can’t remember what it was about.
If you met yourself would you like yourself?
Sure, I would. You liked me didn’t you? And you are hard to impress. I think I make pretty good first impressions.
Who is your long distance company and how were they chosen?
AT&T and they are who we have always had. We get at least 2 to 3 calls a day from other companies trying to get us to switch. Who would have known that the industry was so competitive for our 10 minutes or less of long distance use each month?
List all the nicknames you’ve had.
Hil (this is the most popular choice), Hilster, Hilly, Cate, Catie, KK, Newt, Fig Newt, Hilaburrito, Celery (who knows), Girl, That One Girl. I’m sure there are others, but these are the ones I can remember.
from K Composite 7 (1999)
Have you ever called the police?
I have called the police a number of times. Most of the time, if I see an accident or something, I call 911 just in case someone else hasn’t called it in yet. In fact, I did that just last week because there was a grass fire on [Interstate] 264 right by my house. Some idiot probably threw a cigarette out of his car – hello! We haven’t had rain since July.
Anyway, they thanked me for calling, although there was a fire truck on the way… wait, you said police, didn’t you? I called the police on the Cherokee Blues Club the night before I took my GRE because my parents house backs up to where it used to be [presently Cahoots], and it was like 3:00 in the morning and it was so loud that I couldn’t sleep. So I called and asked them to turn down and they said no, so I called the police and they turned it down!
How do you feel about the state of your life right now, and what can be done by anyone who knows you to make it better?
I really like my life right now. School is going well, the end is in sight. I love my [field hockey] coaching job [at Christian Academy of Louisville], the kids are great. The only thing might be that I am so tired all of the time because I give all I can to all of the different things that I am doing. Especially hockey. It might make my life easier, if everyone around me understood that I am really busy and that it is hard for me to get everything done that I have to do. It makes it easier when the people in your life understand everything that is going on and are empathetic with your situation, instead of demanding more of you.
What television shows do you try to watch on a regular basis?
I try to watch ER and Ally McBeal. What do you watch?
I try to watch The Simpsons, of course, and Futurama. And I love The Norm Show. If you had to have a sticker on your car of Calvin pissing on something, what would it be?
I hate those stickers. I don’t know, but I feel really sorry for the guy that draws Calvin and Hobbes. What’s his name? Bill something. He probably hates them more than I do.