Bee attack witness Gary Lee Anderson speaks out against the haters

In the first couple weeks after Kentucky bee attack eyewitness Gary Lee Anderson made his debut on Lexington station WKYT, the clip of his casual recounting of events was viewed over half a million times.

It is unclear whether people with thick and challenging accents are statistically more likely to witness newsworthy events, or if local news stations around the world have deliberately conspired to routinely select flavorful dialects from the casts of bystanders.

The phenomenon of coincidental onlookers with countryfied cadence can be traced back many decades and rose to infamy in the 1974 Ray Stevens hit single “The Streak.” 1

However, Gary Lee Anderson (who the station describes onscreen as “lives nearby”) takes eyewitness testimony to a whole new level.

The video of this report has delighted viewers around the world, with many celebrating Mr. Anderson’s dialect and nonchalant manner of speaking. With the number of views in the hundreds of thousands – I gotta say, I might be responsible for a few hundred of those views – the comments section under the video has inevitably sparked to life.

It’s an established fact that the comments are the best part of the Internet. You know this. We all know this.

(Surprisingly, though, some of the comments on this video have a tinge of racism. Weird, right? That doesn’t sound like the YouTube comments sections I’m familiar with.)

One savvy observer of modern society, Kyle Waller, muses in the comments section, “How the fuck is this news?”

But it’s not just the media landscape that has earned Kyle’s disdain. His initial fit of disgust turns out to be a launching pad for a short political editorial. “Is this state really so full of inbred fucktards that no one gives a shit how fucked to hell our states [sic] government is?”

Really, Kyle? Inbred fucktards? Hope you don’t kiss your mother with that filthy mouth.

But hold the presses! One of the active commenters on the video has the screen name Gary Anderson and, well, “Kyle Waller you can go and have sex with your mother because the only inbred I see here is you.”

Nice! Screw the haters. While Kyle’s at home trolling people on YouTube, Gary is running out of his house to see if he can help somebody.

And as for Mr. Waller’s query on the newsworthiness of this incident, it’s safe to say that not much happens on Patton Spur Road in Laurel County, a 2 1/2 hour drive from Louisville. But as sure as that Geo Tracker struck a pole, so has the lightning bolt of online celebrity struck this nearby house.

The jury is in. It’s time for Gary Lee Anderson to get his own TV show.

I agree with the words of commenter Mercury, who says Anderson “…honestly seems like a pretty cool person who means no harm and would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.”

Right on, Mercury! I think they should hire Gary to be Sam Dick’s co-anchor on WKYT. I could listen to him read the news in that metered delivery every day.

The only questions that remain are what video game was he playing on his phone and how can we order fresh eggs from his farm?

Don’t let the bastards get you down, Gary.