Carrie Osborne

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In the summer of 1992, Carrie Osborne was: “a 19-year-old Bellarmine College student. She schooled at Collegiate for 12 years and played field hockey there. One of her hobbies was getting into yearbook photos for activity groups she wasn’t in.”

Her freshman year of college was spent in Lexington at the University of Kentucky.

Carrie appeared on the cover of issues 2, 3, and 4, although she was interviewed only in the second. Her friend Layla Smith was interviewed in the same issue.

Portions of their banter were read on NPR’s “Talk of the Nation” the following year during a story about twentysomethings.

WHY DO YOU SMOKE?

I’ve kinda quit. [laughter] It’s a habit that I enjoy. It tastes good, it’s relaxing. Hold on, can we start over?

NO. HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH AND WHY?

Do I have to tell the truth?

YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT TO. NO ONE KNOWS FOR SURE BUT YOU.

I weigh around 115. [laughter]

HOW FAR AROUND?

Just right around there.

WHY?

I don’t like any of these questions…why… because, I don’t know, because that’s like what my muscles and bones… that’s how much the pull of gravity causes on them.

WHERE’S THE FARTHEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN FROM HOME? AND TELL ME ABOUT IT.

I’m not sure which is farther, Colorado or the Bahamas… or Quebec, or Montreal. The farthest away I’ve been from home is Vail, Colorado, and I went there on a road trip with Layla Smith when I was a freshman at UK…

…AND?

And we decided to go at midnight one night because we were really sick of school and all the stupid people at UK. Especially all the ones in sororities like Tri-Delt and Theta, except for Cathy Theobald [laughter]. Um, you’re not gonna print all the “um”s, are you?

NO.

Okay. I say “um” a lot. We were planning on moving out there, but we realized we didn’t like the people there because they were all hippies. We both tried ‘shrooms there [much laughter] Layla went with me and we got them stuck in our throats so we spit ‘em out. We were actually only in Colorado for about three or four days, but it was fun. Kansas is the most boring state, don’t ever drive through it. And Layla threw up in Hays City, Kansas.

 

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF BATTERY, AND WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING THAT USES THEM?

My favorite type of battery is… Eveready, no! Energizer, I’m sorry…

NO, SIZE…

Oh size? Double A for my Walkman.

NUMBER SEVEN: WHAT MAKES YOU FART, CARRIE OSBORNE?

Gas.

WHAT PARTICULAR FOODS MAKE YOU FART?

No particular foods make me fart.

Excerpted from K Composite Magazine No. 2, Summer 1992

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