8 photos Winston Churchill absolutely does not want you to see!

Read time: 2 minutes

Every bloke’s suffered some shutterbug snapping you at the wrong moment. Nothing worse than looking a bit dodgy in some ropey pic. It can happen even if you’re an elder statesman, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and the winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature.

Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill once wrote, “Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.” Brace yourselves. The British Bulldog is about to get tonked.

Aristotle Onassis: “Hurry! Take it before he wakes up. [laughs] Dude looks like Boss Hogg!”
Aristotle Onassis: “Hurry! Take it before Boss Hogg wakes up.”
Blimey! Ol’ Copperknob is all monged out and knackered on the smallest boat Aristotle Onassis owns. Not the first time this nob got rat-arsed on scrumpy from the off-licence, right?

Eisenhower Churchill
Eisenhower: “You got some balls wearing that out here.” Churchill: “Didn’t think I was serious, did ya, Ike?”

Never underestimate the Prime Minister’s good word. If the bloke says he’s going to the press conference wearing a bathrobe over his jacket, then you better bet he’ll be wearing a bloody bathrobe over his jacket.

Jesus. The balls on this guy.
Jesus. The balls on this guy.

The lord who once wrote, “We are going on swinging bravely forward,” isn’t shy about what he’s swinging bravely forward in his swim cozzy. Cheeky bugger oughta load those knackers into some kecks!

The First Lord of the Admiralty is humiliated as folks look on. “Bollocks! I shouldn't have brought me Nobel Prize to the beach.”
The First Lord of the Admiralty is humiliated as folks look on. “Bollocks! I shouldn’t have brought me Nobel Prize to the beach.”

Stone the crows! The nutter’s a bit barmy and yomping in the water again, is he? Suss it out, tosspot!

“It has been said that this suit is the worst form of suit, except all those other suits that I have tried from time to time.”

Old codger better have had a proper lurgy to explain dressing in this kit, like he just got done selling Whippies at the ice cream parlour. Off-the-peg is for chavs, mate. Sir clearly didn’t win the Nobel Prize for Beach Outfits. And that munter of his ain’t no Page Three neither.

I thought the hair was not part of his hat. Churchill's driver proceeds down the <em>left side</em> of the street. Embarrassing!
Proof that the hair was not part of the hat.

Even in crowded areas, Churchill’s cack-handed chauffeur was often seen driving his lorry down the left side of the road. Embarrassing!

That legless ranker oughta be more careful straight away, ’specially whilst the good guv’nor is standing in the boot.

"Chapter 11: Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff. Harry didn’t get much sleep that night, he was so worried over the note..."
“Chapter 11: Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff. Harry didn’t get much sleep that night, he was so worried over the note…”